Sexual Health

Safer sex

It's worth remembering that safer sex for HIV, doesn't necessarily mean safer in terms of more infectious bugs such as hepatitis, for more information on other infections, see the guide to STIs.

The basic principle, that a condom will provide good protection against HIV (and many other infections) is well known, but sometimes the guys we meet often want more detail.

Here are some of the facts we often quote:

getting fucked is much more risky than fucking
if one partner comes in the other this increases the risk
having a sexually transmitted infection can greatly increase the chances of getting HIV (it's easier for the virus to enter inflamed cells).
there is some risk from a dick that just enters the arse (from pre-cum)

Making assumptions about the other guy's status can be the most dangerous strategy of all - what do you think of these?….

there aren't many positive guys round here
HIV infection exists in all parts of the country - the risks are greater in the major cities, but that does not mean they are non-existent in Hampshire.
he looks healthy - he can't have HIV
many positive people continue to live completely healthy lives for many years. Even when symptoms do start they rarely start on the face.
he'd tell me if he were positive
Imagine a positive guy who's been rejected by several guys when he told them he was positive.

What about oral sex - is that safe?

It's true that fucking is the riskiest activity, but there is some risk with sucking. The virus is present in pre-cum, and it may not be obvious that the other guy is producing pre-cum once you've started sucking. It is true that saliva tends to deactivate the virus, but it is not a reliable way to kill the virus. The virus could then enter the bloodstream through the tonsils (which are very good at absorbing bugs in general) or through the gums. It's worth remembering the 75% of adults have gum disease and many of them don't know it) and this can cause inflammations and bleeding gums, both of which can make it easier to become infected.

Given the amount of oral sex that goes on, clearly there are many, many times when sucking doesn't lead to infection. However there are a small number of guys who are convinced that this is the way they got infected (and studies to back it up).

the following tips may be useful:

keep gums healthy by regular brushing with a soft brush
but avoid cleaning teeth immediately before sucking as this may cause tiny cuts to the gums
also avoid mouthwash immediately before sex as this may wash away protective cells
avoid sucking if you have mouth ulcers, cold sores (which are infectious) or have had recent dental work.
the risks are lower if he doesn't come in your mouth
the risks can be almost eliminated by using a flavoured condom

What about other activities?

Kissing: HIV is not present in transmissible quantities in saliva, so snogging is safe (although may represent a risk for hepatitis - so getting vaccinated is important).

Watersports: pee is actually almost sterile when it comes out of the body, so not much risk here (the only exception is if he had an infection which caused blood in the pee - this is fairly rare though)

Rimming: not much risk for HIV, but very high risk for hepatitis, and a range of unpleasant stomach bugs. If you enjoy rimming you may want to think about using a dental dam, or cling film.

Sex toys may carry tiny infection in tiny amounts of body fluids such as blood. They should be cleaned thoroughly after use with disinfectant, and never shared.

CP is safe as long as it doesn't break the skin.